The sense of loss that we feel after experiencing a termination is so severe that it can alter the rest of our lives forever. Families can break up and our careers and aspirations can end up on the scrap heap. This usually occurs when we refuse to deal with the whole process properly. This article looks at why we feel this grief and how we can start to accept these feelings in order to continue with our lives.
We Need To Understand What Has Happened
It seems easy to deal with an abortion by playing down the actual seriousness of the event. We need to use both sides of our brain to come to terms with this process. A potential life has been ended and that will induce grief and suffering. In most cases, this termination was a personal choice and that factor will add a sense of guilt to the whole whirlwind of negative emotions. Some abortions take place within a few weeks of the lady falling pregnant, but we still treat the tiny fetus as a human being in terms of grief and personalization.
Typical Abortion Trauma Feelings
When an individual undergoes this type of stress condition the behavior falls into four groups:
- Self-destructive behavior – This type of behavior includes some very dangerous activities including eating disorders, suicidal tendencies and drug abuse.
- Relationship problems – These include family and marriage breakdowns, sexual dysfunction and child abuse/neglect.
- Mental health problems – This includes phobias, anxiety attacks, depression and OCD.
- Replacement pregnancies – Repeat abortions and the atonement child are symptoms of this type of behavior.
This is an event that reminds the individual about the abortion event, it can happen many years after the actual termination date. It may have a significant connection to the abortion or may just be a random happening:
- Anniversary date – The abortion date or perhaps the predicted birth date of the unborn child.
- Birth of another child – This can trigger off guilt related grief issues
- A personal crisis – This can increase the feeling of vulnerability and the individual will remember how they felt at the time of the termination.
Coping With The Loss
The main ingredient that is required in order to be able to deal with the past, present and future, is a four letter word – Hope. The individual has undergone a lot of pain and deep wounds will remain for a long time. They will need to overcome the denial that they may have forced themselves to create, and also isolation needs to be removed. If they are in a relationship, the partner needs to be there for them at all times. We can never forget those who are no longer with us, but in accepting their fate and the reasons for the abortion, we can move forward slowly but surely. Support groups exist that are able to assist with this incredibly difficult period of life, they know exactly how the individual feels and will be instrumental in the full recovery that should eventually materialize.
About the Author: Natasha Taylor, the writer of this article, is a gynecologist and has her own clinic. She has been counseling women regarding pregnancy issues from past 10 years. She advises women not take an abortion pill without prescription as it might be dangerous for health.